Be grateful for the moment you hit rock bottom because at that exact moment you learn who you really are, who your ride or dies are and how much strength you actually possess. See the thing is while you are “falling” people can actually see that you are going to hit rock bottom, you just don’t see it as yet you just think that the “fall” are minor setbacks nothing major and in this process of “falling and hitting rock bottom”, you find your “friends” who miraculously appeared during your come up and clinged onto you like a leech does to a person quickly disappear, they stay away from you the same way people from the bible kept away from people with leprosy. You suddenly have no one to turn to because during your come up those that helped you in the beginning somehow didn’t fit into the image in your head and going back to them with your tail between your legs and admitting you’re wrong and that your screwed up is something you can’t bring yourself to doing because your EGO, PRIDE and THE HIGH HORSE you’re on won’t let you. So you’re still falling, no one to turn to, nothing left to help ease the fall and EGO, PRIDE and THE HIGH HORSE you’re on are looking at you as if you can poop out a golden egg to stop you from hitting rock bottom, so what now? The only thing, the only person you have to look at is the self. By the time you realise that the self is the only person that can help you you’ve already hit rock bottom. And here’s the sad part you still doubt the self and so instead of listening to the self you ignore the self and look up for a rope or a hand that can pull you up but you can’t see because there’s so much dust in the air from hitting the floor hard, so you forced to look down, look at the foundation you built, look at the bricks you used to build your pedestal, the material you used and how you built your pedestal. Now this is the moment you should be grateful for because right there and then you choose how you want your pedestal to be built, you select which pieces from the old pedestal will be part of the new on YOU decide at what pace it will be built and who will be part of this beautiful process. Within that beautiful process you not only reconnect with the self but you strengthen that bond you build a fortress around this bond and through that bond you are introduced to humility, nobility and higher intelligence who teach you that you need to open to learning and that its ok to make mistakes just don’t make the same mistake twice because you won’t learn anything and embrace every downfall you come across as it’s also a method of aggressively removing people and things that aren’t meant to be with you when you succeed.
The colour of my skin isn’t black
And yet the the title given to my race is “Black”
Therefore whatever negativity that the colour black representsis automatically what I am
I am evil
I am darkness
I am death
I didn’t choose to be called black
But I have to wear that title like a crown and be proud of it because
I am bold
I am strong
I am powerful
The colour of my skin isn’t black
But I was called black so I could be put in chains
I created wealth for others before I knew I how to create wealth for myself
I was taught to call myself ugly before I knew what ugly ment
I was told to be ashamed of being black…
But I didn’t choose to be called black
I was given this title
I took the title black and made it a movement
I took the title black and made it who I am
I took the title black and made it the greatest title ever to be received by humankind
The colour of my skin is brown
I am different shades of brown
The same brown as the earth
I am the most precious product of the earth
In this brown skin you find precious stones that represent my strength
In this brown skinned body rivers flow to the rhythm of my hips
In this brown skinned being wealth is created
The colour of my skin is brown
And yet the title given to my race is “Black”
Black is beautiful
Black is authoritative
Black is sophisticated
They thought by calling black would break me but they have made me more powerful than ever
The colour of my skin is brown and I am proud to be called black
Letting go isn’t a sign of growth, it is the first step to allowing the process of growth to happen in your life. By removing yourself from negativity, things that threaten your health and peace of mind, anything that is compromising your values, Degenerates and anything and everything that doesn’t add substance to your being means you’ve acknowlegded what you need to improve. As a queen you know that perfection isn’t attainable but progress is what you live for and in order to progress we need to let go and when we let go we also need to move on, but for some reason the moving on part seems to be the thing we leave out. Since we believe that after we let go we’re done, we all good, we’re sorted now we’ve got space for new bad habits and negative, compromising, degenerating things which only sets up back even further from where we started. We forget the most vital point of growing which is moving on…. It is there whether we want it or not. Growing means moving on to an even better place, moving on shows maturity and independence. I mean as kids we couldn’t wait to move on from one grade to another because it showed we were growing so what’s so different about moving on after letting go? Letting go means there is place for that purpose you need to fulfill, there is place for new life and lessons but in order to receive that you need to make that move to the place you’re ment to be in order to grow.
You suck the life out of me
You make me cry
You created my insecurities
You gave me my dark and deadly thoughts.
When you claim to help me it is when you dig a deeper hole for me.
When you claim you love me you just reveal the shame and hatred you feel.
Funny enough I didn’t ask for it
I didn’t choose you
I didn’t say make me
I didn’t sign up to be an emotional punching bag.
Who I am now isn’t who you were in the past
The fact that you feel unimportant to me is because you made me unimportant to you…
You aren’t trying to make things right you just covering up mistakes caused by you.
You don’t care about me it’s how you look to others that you care about
My wellbeing has never been a factor to your state of being.
And it’s ok
It is all good
Because unlike you I can forgive and look past all the the pain and move on.
Unlike you my joy doesn’t come from the world.
Unlike you I don’t need to look good in other people’s eyes I know my truth and God knows my heart.
The reason you feel and think Im better than you is because I am.
I am better than you
You’ve been trying to hide that fact by making me insecure, ugly, average and dumb.
My mistake was seeking your approval
Making you happy
Doing things for you
But it’s all good
Because I know better
I am better
This isn’t for you anymore
What you think doesn’t matter
How you feel is a reflection of you
I am my own person
My joy is a gift from God
My peace is from God
My applause come from God
Whether you are here or not doesn’t bother me anymore
I know who I am now and it sure ain’t you…