Be grateful for the moment you hit rock bottom because at that exact moment you learn who you really are, who your ride or dies are and how much strength you actually possess. See the thing is while you are “falling” people can actually see that you are going to hit rock bottom, you just don’t see it as yet you just think that the “fall” are minor setbacks nothing major and in this process of “falling and hitting rock bottom”, you find your “friends” who miraculously appeared during your come up and clinged onto you like a leech does to a person quickly disappear, they stay away from you the same way people from the bible kept away from people with leprosy. You suddenly have no one to turn to because during your come up those that helped you in the beginning somehow didn’t fit into the image in your head and going back to them with your tail between your legs and admitting you’re wrong and that your screwed up is something you can’t bring yourself to doing because your EGO, PRIDE and THE HIGH HORSE you’re on won’t let you. So you’re still falling, no one to turn to, nothing left to help ease the fall and EGO, PRIDE and THE HIGH HORSE you’re on are looking at you as if you can poop out a golden egg to stop you from hitting rock bottom, so what now? The only thing, the only person you have to look at is the self. By the time you realise that the self is the only person that can help you you’ve already hit rock bottom. And here’s the sad part you still doubt the self and so instead of listening to the self you ignore the self and look up for a rope or a hand that can pull you up but you can’t see because there’s so much dust in the air from hitting the floor hard, so you forced to look down, look at the foundation you built, look at the bricks you used to build your pedestal, the material you used and how you built your pedestal. Now this is the moment you should be grateful for because right there and then you choose how you want your pedestal to be built, you select which pieces from the old pedestal will be part of the new on YOU decide at what pace it will be built and who will be part of this beautiful process. Within that beautiful process you not only reconnect with the self but you strengthen that bond you build a fortress around this bond and through that bond you are introduced to humility, nobility and higher intelligence who teach you that you need to open to learning and that its ok to make mistakes just don’t make the same mistake twice because you won’t learn anything and embrace every downfall you come across as it’s also a method of aggressively removing people and things that aren’t meant to be with you when you succeed.
I am insecure and I’m ok with it
What people perceive as humble
Is simply me shying away because I feel like I don’t meet the occasion.
I hide in the shadows because it’s safer there.
I feel secure in my insecurities.
It’s easier to say the next person is better since I just can’t bear to receive a compliment.
The thought of someone acknowledging me isn’t something I’d be proud of.
I don’t feel worthy of it,
My insecurities made sure of that…
It’s just so much easier to say I can’t not having tried before.
To nominate someone else although I’m the perfect candidate.
To silence myself before my voice is taken away.
I feel so much better when I’m behind the scenes.
Oh, how comfortable I am in my insecurities
Where “self hate” resides right next to “fear of being humiliated”,
And not too far of from “putting myself down lane”
Which is opposite “I don’t feel worthy park” where a river called “shame” flows
All safely guarded by a tactical force called insecurities.
I found solace in my insecurities
The one place where comfort shouldn’t exist
I found peace in saying I’m not good enough
I found relief in thinking I can’t
I found compassion in being in the shadows
My insecurities consoled me in a way my securities couldn’t
I feel safe in my insecurities.
The colour of my skin isn’t black
And yet the the title given to my race is “Black”
Therefore whatever negativity that the colour black representsis automatically what I am
I am evil
I am darkness
I am death
I didn’t choose to be called black
But I have to wear that title like a crown and be proud of it because
I am bold
I am strong
I am powerful
The colour of my skin isn’t black
But I was called black so I could be put in chains
I created wealth for others before I knew I how to create wealth for myself
I was taught to call myself ugly before I knew what ugly ment
I was told to be ashamed of being black…
But I didn’t choose to be called black
I was given this title
I took the title black and made it a movement
I took the title black and made it who I am
I took the title black and made it the greatest title ever to be received by humankind
The colour of my skin is brown
I am different shades of brown
The same brown as the earth
I am the most precious product of the earth
In this brown skin you find precious stones that represent my strength
In this brown skinned body rivers flow to the rhythm of my hips
In this brown skinned being wealth is created
The colour of my skin is brown
And yet the title given to my race is “Black”
Black is beautiful
Black is authoritative
Black is sophisticated
They thought by calling black would break me but they have made me more powerful than ever
The colour of my skin is brown and I am proud to be called black
Moghel you are more than just breasts and ass
When God made you,
He took His time…
He let man fall asleep
Took a bone that protected man’s life
And moulded you into a perfect master piece with it.
Beyps you are not piece of item that has to be shown off by someone who doesn’t know your real worth…
You are beyond precious
Not even the wealth of the entire world comes close to your how much you are worth…
Woman you were created by the creator Himself to carry and give birth to every single creation He thought of.
Sweetheart you are so much stronger than you think you are.
You have been beaten, raped and labelled horrible names and yet you rise up even stronger than ever
You wear your scars as if they were them most precious stones on earth.
You bear it all so they don’t have to
No matter how painful or bad things are you still carry yourself so elegantly like you’ve got the world’s riches in your hands
Baby girl you don’t need to be part of the crowd to be seen
You are more than the latest fashion and trends
Your so called squad doesn’t define who you are
How you can get a man to buy you doesn’t make you beautiful
That hair and make up doesn’t cover up what’s pretty or ugly inside
You are stronger and content when you know who you are and have accepted your flaws and are willing to change only for you.
You are a woman
A masterpiece created by the Creator Himself
Unapologetic for who she is and why she’s here
Unashamed to bare it all for everyone to see
Loyal to the royal within
A queen in her own right.
I am worth more than a bottle of moët…
Fact that I don’t even know what it tastes like, should tell you…
My body can’t be be bought by alcohol so…
Don’t bother asking, “how many drinks will it take to get home with me”
You can try taking me to an expensive restaurant,
But I’m just gonna end up ordering fries coz your bougie broke ass lifestyle doesn’t live up to the fine elegant taste I have called plain and simple…
I am worth more than a bottle of ciroc…
Boo I don’t need spirits in the form of a beverage coz I got the Holy Spirit and that’s more than enough.
Buying me clothes won’t do shit you’ll probably get the wrong size either way
And don’t think waving cash in my face will get me all excited coz not even manhood could do a proper job…
Like I said,
I’m worth more than a bottle of henessy…
Don’t assume every girl in a weave, with makeup wearing a tight short dressing is:
Dumb enough to go home with you
Materialistic enough to get excited over things you buy them
Or naive to believe the bullshit you whisper in her ear…
Everyone has a price…
Not everyone is bought with alcohol…
If you gonna try challenge us then,
Try seeing how further you can make me think and not how further I can bend over.
Instead seeing how quickly you can get me to bed, see how quick I can learn about your field of work.
Rather then worrying about how my moaning motivates you, how about you motivate me get that education….
Don’t complain about how my school work is taking up our time for Netflix and chill… my guy increase our time together by creating Study and Chill….
My education, values, morals or self worth aren’t worth “a bottle”…
So don’t assume I can be bought
Because assumptions make an ass out of you and me…
I am worth more than just a bottle…
You suck the life out of me
You make me cry
You created my insecurities
You gave me my dark and deadly thoughts.
When you claim to help me it is when you dig a deeper hole for me.
When you claim you love me you just reveal the shame and hatred you feel.
Funny enough I didn’t ask for it
I didn’t choose you
I didn’t say make me
I didn’t sign up to be an emotional punching bag.
Who I am now isn’t who you were in the past
The fact that you feel unimportant to me is because you made me unimportant to you…
You aren’t trying to make things right you just covering up mistakes caused by you.
You don’t care about me it’s how you look to others that you care about
My wellbeing has never been a factor to your state of being.
And it’s ok
It is all good
Because unlike you I can forgive and look past all the the pain and move on.
Unlike you my joy doesn’t come from the world.
Unlike you I don’t need to look good in other people’s eyes I know my truth and God knows my heart.
The reason you feel and think Im better than you is because I am.
I am better than you
You’ve been trying to hide that fact by making me insecure, ugly, average and dumb.
My mistake was seeking your approval
Making you happy
Doing things for you
But it’s all good
Because I know better
I am better
This isn’t for you anymore
What you think doesn’t matter
How you feel is a reflection of you
I am my own person
My joy is a gift from God
My peace is from God
My applause come from God
Whether you are here or not doesn’t bother me anymore
I know who I am now and it sure ain’t you…
Stars in her eyes.
So full of life.
Everyday is like an adventure to her.
She goes to bed every night counting down the hours till the sun rises again so she can begin the new journey that awaits her…
Hungry for knowledge
Motivated by a mere everyday thing called growing up
She is mesmerised by the different flavours life has to offer, so eager to taste every last bit…
She walks to the beat of her own rhythm
She exudes her new found values to the world
Ready to even defy the rules of science, her only goal is to change the world….
Reality just hit
She opened her eyes to the big bad world
The stars in her eyes are dim, her entire world shattered each piece leaving it’s own unique mark as a reminder.
She dies more and more inside
Used as a trophy to the “Man”
She forgets her worth
She it taught to live by an untrue fact that a man is the only thing she’ll need….
she remembers how it began
She gracefully carries herself with elegance
Walking away from all the pain, negativity and everything that jeopardise her peace
She needs no approval, ready to conquer and take back all she lost.
She is whole.
She is strong.
She is perfectly imperfect.
It’s always a tough decison for a queen to pick between love and success. But here’s the thing if you find a partner that cares about you and your dreams you wouldn’t have to pick between the two. This isn’t about having your cake and eating it this is about being with someone who will never let you compromise your throne by letting you choose between your Kingdom and them. A queen must find her king and her king should be conquering his own Kingdom and only be looking to find a queen who is conquering her own kingdom that way you can both build each other into better people. A queen deserves a king that knows her worth and appreciates how she’ll never comprise herself for him, instead she’ll ensure that he works just as hard as she does if not more.
Be the queen you know you should be with or without a king
You know she’s done when doesn’t do the things she used to do for you
You know she’s done when me doesn’t put in the same effort as before
You know she’s done when she doesn’t worry or fuss about you anymore
You know she’s done when on your bullshit doesn’t even faze her
You don’t call, she’s ok with that…
You don’t text, she doesn’t even panic any more…
She silently pulled away from you and you didn’t notice
And you know you’re fucked when your threats to leave make her smile….
That’s when you know she’s done for good.
You’ve had your heart broken.
You’ve had your life torn apart.
You lost everything.
You lost everyone.
Your entire being was turned upside down
Through it all you held your head up high and kept going.
You tried to pick up the pieces
You tried to put it back together
You looked for everything
You searched for everyone
You entire being is still stuck in turmoil
Through it all you realised, “fuck it”
Your heart got broken, yes… And it isn’t the the first nor the last there’s nothing special or different about the ex, the didn’t realise that they had a gold mine on their hands so forget about it.
Your life is torn apart, so what? Has there ever been a life that’s all in one piece, I don’t think so, so gather all the pieces and ensure they are all in one place I mean you don’t need your shit all over the place right…
You lost everything… Maybe you weren’t suppose to have it. Look at it this way stop focusing on what you have and start looking at what you can do its not like you going to be buried with your things once you dead.
You lost everyone… No no no! Everyone lost you, they couldn’t handle awesomeness so find people who can, you’re not gonna be everyone’s cup of tea.
Your entire being is turned upside down and… Who know which way is the right way up even your being could be positioned the right way the only thing you should worry about is your entire being being at peace through all the turmoil.
Screw everything, keep your head up, own your throne and grow your Kingdom that’s all that matters