Security in my Insecurities

I am insecure and I’m ok with it

What people perceive as  humble

Is simply me shying away because I feel like I don’t meet the occasion. 

I hide in the shadows because it’s safer there.

I feel secure in my insecurities. 

It’s easier to say the next person is better since I just can’t bear to receive a compliment.

The thought of someone acknowledging me isn’t something I’d be proud of.

I don’t feel worthy of it,

My insecurities made sure of that…

It’s just so much easier to say I can’t not having tried before.

To nominate someone else although I’m the perfect candidate.

To silence myself before my voice is taken away.

I feel so much better when I’m behind the scenes.

Oh, how comfortable I am in my insecurities

Where “self hate” resides right next to “fear of being humiliated”, 

And not too far of from “putting myself down lane”

Which is opposite “I don’t feel worthy park” where a river called “shame” flows

All safely guarded by a tactical force called insecurities.

I found solace in my insecurities

The one place where comfort shouldn’t exist

I found peace in saying I’m not good enough 

I found relief in thinking I can’t 

I found compassion in being in the shadows 

My insecurities consoled me in a way my securities couldn’t 

I feel safe in my insecurities. 

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Moghel you are more than just breasts and ass 

When God made you,

He took His time…

He let man fall asleep 

Took a bone that protected man’s life 

And moulded you into a perfect master piece with it.
Beyps you are not piece of item that has to be shown off by someone who doesn’t know your real worth…

You are beyond precious 

Not even the wealth of the entire world comes close to your how much you are worth…

Woman you were created by the creator Himself to carry and give birth to every single creation He thought of.
Sweetheart you are so much stronger than you think you are.

You have been beaten, raped and labelled  horrible names and yet you rise up even stronger than ever

You wear your scars as if they were them most precious stones on earth.

You bear it all so they don’t have to

No matter how painful or bad things are you still carry yourself so elegantly like you’ve got the world’s riches in your hands
Baby girl you don’t need to be part of the crowd to be seen 

You are more than the latest fashion and trends

Your so called squad doesn’t define who you are

How you can get a man to buy you doesn’t make you beautiful 

That hair and make up  doesn’t cover up what’s pretty or ugly inside

You are stronger and content when you know who you are and have accepted your flaws and are willing to change only for you.

 

You are a woman 

A masterpiece created by the Creator Himself 

Unapologetic for who she is and why she’s here

Unashamed to bare it all for everyone to see 

Loyal to the royal within

A queen in her own right.

10 blessings I learnt about life…

1. Let God be the centre of your life, He isn’t going simply be there without you saying or asking him, God unlike use is polite, gentle and well-mannered. Invite God in all you do and he shall be there.

2. No one and I mean no one is perfect. We might think that perfection it the place we want to reach but think about the time it took to reach perfection… we aren’t here to be perfect, we are here to make progress, improve ourselves and move on to bigger and better things.

3. It’s not about when or how you start or even end because that’s just it, it’s a beginning and end. What matters is the manner in which you carry yourself throughout the process, the small failures that could have made you give up and the small triumphs that give you hope, those are the important moments that define one’s character.

4. It has been said multiple times… “Life is a choice, you CHOOSE how to live it, you CHOOSE what you learn from it and you CHOOSE how it makes you better worse.”  Make  the choice already decide what it is you want and do it.

5. “Many are called, but  few are chosen.” Ask yourself what it is that sets apart people who were never from the people  who were called and the people who were called from the people who were chosen… EFFORT you can know it all and still not be called, you can be prepared and still not be chosen. Effort set you apart from everyone what you put in is exactly what you get out so whether you know or not put in the EFFORT and it will pay off.

6. Second chances are given to you in an abundance. If you are able to wake up whether you are hooked on machines or not the fact that you are able to wake up means you have another chance do things right, another chance to fight for what you want…. use that chance you get when you wake up.

7. Experts were once beginners also  don’t shy away from learner from those more experienced than you, you could be teaching them something in the process too….

8. Take your time, goals are never reached in one day. Allow yourself to go through the necessary changes, prepare yourself for what’s about to happen…. your time will come.

9. People don’t need to know about everything you do, you don’t know who’s pray for you and who’s praying against you. Keep QUIET and do you, the time for you to share things will come.

10. God is the be all and end all, the Alpha and Omega. Learn to trust His  timing it is always perfect.

If you had to leave 10 blessings you learnt about life what would yours be?

Her story…

Beautiful. 

smart.

Innocent.

Stars in her eyes.

So full of life.

Everyday is like an adventure to her.

She goes to bed every night counting down the hours till the sun rises again so she can begin the new journey that awaits her…

Determined 

Capable 

Nurturing

Hungry for knowledge 

Motivated by a mere everyday thing called growing up

She is mesmerised by the different flavours life has to offer, so eager to taste every last bit…

Sassy

Opinionated 

Rebel

She walks to the beat of her own rhythm 

She exudes her new found values to the world

Ready to even defy the rules of science, her only goal is to change the world….

Insecure 

Lonely 

Constrained 

Reality just hit

She opened her eyes to the big bad world

The stars in her eyes are dim, her entire world shattered each piece leaving it’s own unique mark as a reminder.

Small

Vulnerable 

Afraid 

She dies more and more inside

Used as a trophy to the “Man”

She forgets her worth

She it taught to live by an untrue fact that a man is the only thing she’ll need….

Wise

Unapologetic 

Bold

Masterpiece 

she remembers how it began

She gracefully carries herself with elegance 

Walking away from all the pain, negativity and everything that jeopardise her peace

She needs no approval, ready to conquer and take back all she lost.

She is whole.

She is  strong.

She is perfectly imperfect.

A request from me made by me.

I’m sick of it! I’m tired of your constant crying. You’ve become so unbearable. It’s like I don’t know you anymore. Sad part is I can’t get away from you and find someone better because I’m stuck with you till death do us part….

You know I’ve known all your life, I raised and moulded you to be the person you are today and don’t get the appreciation I deserve. I was there on first break up, matter of fact I was the one who told he’s not the right one but hey what did I know I was just stuck inside you to know what’s best for you. Let me not even go to that story with the “best friend” who had your back because I told you there was something shady about that girl yet you still didn’t listen. I’ve basically been the voice of wisdom that you clearly ignore, I told the truth even when you refuse to hear it.
Ok maybe there were times you listened and I was wrong. I did say never give up on love and you’ve had your heart broken multiple times, but hey it made you stronger and a tad bit crazy. And there was that time I said you need take a leap of faith… yea you leaped and landed on your face, that made you stronger too and a little off balance…. But hey I can admit to the  couple of times I was wrong so shoot me for not being human but being part of one which means I’m incline to make mistakes which technically means it still isn’t my fault.

But that’s not the point…. The point I’m making here is to tell you to LOVE ME… And you must wondering who me is… I’m your voice of reason, your internal punching bag, the one person who’s loved you throughout all your weird and wonderful stages if life, I am your legit day 1, your ride or die.
I am you. And I just wanted to make a request to you: 

Love yourself first, don’t be so hard on yourself you’ve accomplished way more than you think. Remember days aren’t the same so allow yourself to go through the emotions. Don’t shy away from love even when it hurts because it brings you a step closer to the on made for you. Forgive everyone that hurt you in any way but also ask for forgiveness from those you hurt. Laugh as much as you can, find joy in all things you do and keep smiling. Remember you are a masterpiece that’s perfectly imperfect 
Love you always and for ever You.