My Dealer

I fell for it…

I allowed my emotions to get the better of me.
Once again I let my heart do all the thinking.
Time and time I keep telling myself that it won’t happen…
Not again,
not anymore.
But there it is…
My heart jumping first in the firing line.
My entire being so eager to get that fix called heartbreak…
It’s like I encourage this emotional mutilation.
Like I want you to break me all over again….
This back and forth,
Let’s start of as friends,
One minute you here next you gone situation kills me.
I no longer get bruised easily I just break into a billion pieces.
The mere thought of you sends me into an emotional ICU.
Sad part is I look forward to that high called heartbreak…
It’s the only way I still get something,
Feel something from you…
You are the only one who can give me that fix and you still fail at it.
You couldn’t succeed in keeping me
And you can’t succeed in giving me heartbreaks…
I keep asking myself what it is i need to do.
I’m addicted to you breaking up with me
You hurting me
You constantly disappointing me…
I looked forward to all of that…
It gave me an all time high,
It kept me connected to you….
And now?
Now I’m all alone
You found new addict to break now that I’m broken beyond repair…