It’s ok to fall

Be grateful for the moment you hit rock bottom because at that exact moment you learn who you really are, who your ride or dies are and how much strength you actually possess. See the thing is while you are “falling” people can actually see that you are going to hit rock bottom, you just don’t see it as yet you just think that the “fall” are minor setbacks nothing major and in this process of “falling and hitting rock bottom”, you find your “friends” who miraculously appeared during your come up and clinged onto you like a leech does to a person quickly disappear, they stay away from you the same way people from the bible kept away from people with leprosy. You suddenly have no one to turn to because during your come up those that helped you in the beginning somehow didn’t fit into the image in your head and going back to them with your tail between your legs and admitting you’re wrong and that your screwed up is something you can’t bring yourself to doing because your EGO, PRIDE and THE HIGH HORSE you’re on won’t let you. So you’re still falling, no one to turn to, nothing left to help ease the fall and EGO, PRIDE and THE HIGH HORSE you’re on are looking at you as if you can poop out a golden egg to stop you from hitting rock bottom, so what now? The only thing, the only person you have to look at is the self. By the time you realise that the self is the only person that can help you you’ve already hit rock bottom. And here’s the sad part you still doubt the self and so instead of listening to the self you ignore the self and look up for a rope or a hand that can pull you up but you can’t see because there’s so much dust in the air from hitting the floor hard, so you forced to look down, look at the foundation you built, look at the bricks you used to build your pedestal, the material you used and how you built your pedestal. Now this is the moment you should be grateful for because right there and then you choose how you want your pedestal to be built, you select which pieces from the old pedestal will be part of the new on YOU decide at what pace it will be built and who will be part of this beautiful process. Within that beautiful process you not only reconnect with the self but you strengthen that bond you build a fortress around this bond and through that bond you are introduced to humility, nobility and higher intelligence who teach you that you need to open to learning and that its ok to make mistakes just don’t make the same mistake twice because you won’t learn anything and embrace every downfall you come across as it’s also a method of aggressively removing people and things that aren’t meant to be with you when you succeed.

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Security in my Insecurities

I am insecure and I’m ok with it

What people perceive as  humble

Is simply me shying away because I feel like I don’t meet the occasion. 

I hide in the shadows because it’s safer there.

I feel secure in my insecurities. 

It’s easier to say the next person is better since I just can’t bear to receive a compliment.

The thought of someone acknowledging me isn’t something I’d be proud of.

I don’t feel worthy of it,

My insecurities made sure of that…

It’s just so much easier to say I can’t not having tried before.

To nominate someone else although I’m the perfect candidate.

To silence myself before my voice is taken away.

I feel so much better when I’m behind the scenes.

Oh, how comfortable I am in my insecurities

Where “self hate” resides right next to “fear of being humiliated”, 

And not too far of from “putting myself down lane”

Which is opposite “I don’t feel worthy park” where a river called “shame” flows

All safely guarded by a tactical force called insecurities.

I found solace in my insecurities

The one place where comfort shouldn’t exist

I found peace in saying I’m not good enough 

I found relief in thinking I can’t 

I found compassion in being in the shadows 

My insecurities consoled me in a way my securities couldn’t 

I feel safe in my insecurities. 

Moghel you are more than just breasts and ass 

When God made you,

He took His time…

He let man fall asleep 

Took a bone that protected man’s life 

And moulded you into a perfect master piece with it.
Beyps you are not piece of item that has to be shown off by someone who doesn’t know your real worth…

You are beyond precious 

Not even the wealth of the entire world comes close to your how much you are worth…

Woman you were created by the creator Himself to carry and give birth to every single creation He thought of.
Sweetheart you are so much stronger than you think you are.

You have been beaten, raped and labelled  horrible names and yet you rise up even stronger than ever

You wear your scars as if they were them most precious stones on earth.

You bear it all so they don’t have to

No matter how painful or bad things are you still carry yourself so elegantly like you’ve got the world’s riches in your hands
Baby girl you don’t need to be part of the crowd to be seen 

You are more than the latest fashion and trends

Your so called squad doesn’t define who you are

How you can get a man to buy you doesn’t make you beautiful 

That hair and make up  doesn’t cover up what’s pretty or ugly inside

You are stronger and content when you know who you are and have accepted your flaws and are willing to change only for you.

 

You are a woman 

A masterpiece created by the Creator Himself 

Unapologetic for who she is and why she’s here

Unashamed to bare it all for everyone to see 

Loyal to the royal within

A queen in her own right.

I am…

I am worth more than a bottle of moët…

Fact that I don’t even know what it tastes like, should tell you…
My body can’t be be bought by alcohol so…
Don’t bother asking, “how many drinks will it take to get home with me”
 You can try taking me to an expensive restaurant,
But I’m just gonna end up ordering fries coz your bougie broke ass lifestyle doesn’t live up to the fine elegant taste I  have called plain and simple…
I am worth more than a bottle of ciroc…
Boo I don’t need spirits in the form of a beverage coz I got the Holy Spirit and that’s more than enough.
Buying me clothes won’t do shit you’ll probably get the wrong size either way
And don’t think waving cash in my face will get me all excited coz not even manhood could do a proper job…
 Like I said,
I’m worth more than a bottle of henessy…
Don’t assume every girl in a weave, with makeup wearing a tight short dressing is:
Dumb enough to go home with you
Materialistic enough to get excited over  things you buy them
Or naive to believe the bullshit you whisper in her ear…
Everyone has a price…
But
Not everyone is bought with alcohol…
If you gonna try challenge us then,
Try seeing how further you can make  me think and not how further I can bend over.
Instead seeing how quickly you can get me to bed, see how quick I can learn about your field of work.
Rather then worrying about how my moaning  motivates you, how about you motivate me get that education….
Don’t complain about how my school work is taking up our time for Netflix and chill… my guy increase our time together by creating Study and Chill….
My education, values,  morals or self worth aren’t worth  “a bottle”…
So don’t assume I can be bought
Because assumptions make an ass out of you and me…
I am worth more than just a bottle… 

She’s done 

You know she’s done when doesn’t do the things she used to do for you

You know she’s done when me doesn’t put in the same effort as before
You know she’s done when she doesn’t worry or fuss about you anymore
You know she’s done when on your bullshit doesn’t even faze her
You don’t call, she’s ok with that…
You don’t text, she doesn’t even panic any more…
She silently pulled away from you and you didn’t notice 
And you know you’re fucked when your threats to leave make her smile….
That’s when you know she’s done for good.

I choose me.

I am done. I have chosen me over everything and anyone else. I am taking back what’s mine and I’m gonna be selfish with myself. I’m over the disrespect, constant pleading to be love back, the giving without expecting anything. I’m over it, I’m over everything. I have no fight left in me I have nothing more to give I’m to gonna beg any more. The buck stops right here im no longer seek your approval coz it means nothing now, I know my worth of and you aren’t even worth my time, I have sooooo much to give but not to just any and everyone. I pick me. I choose my happiness. I select my life first.
I come first so no more bullshit, tears no more pain, no more heartache, no more
giving freely. I am finished, I am not about that life anymore. It’s my time now. I’m doing what makes me happy, I’m wearing sexy underwear for me I am dressing like a millionaire for me. I am falling in love with myself first.

Stop it!

Stop lying to yourself.

Stop convincing yourself that they will change.

Stop giving them countless chances to do better.

Just STOP!

You’ve heard all the excuses,

You’ve dealt with the betrayal,

You’ve been through the sleepless night of convincing yourself that things will be better.

You have been through the entire cycle, bought the t-shirt, wore the t-shirt till it faded and bought a new one again.

So STOP!

The only thing that will change is their looks and not even for the better.

The only thing that will get better are the excuse for you to take them back.

You gonna drive yourself crazy by having more sleepless nights lying to yourself so you can feel better.

There was life before they came into the picture,

Life continued even when they were around,

And guess what?

Life still continues without them.
Do yourself a favour and put a stop to it

Save yourself and say no

Get your peace of mind back and just block their ass.

Most importantly look at for number one (YOU)

Her journey begins…

When I look in the mirror.

I see the same old girl,

The dull face girl that’s just plain and boring,

I see a useless waste of energy. 

Insecure unworthy damsel.

A tramp!

Everyday I look in the mirror…

I die a little every time.

I see  the disgusting figure I called ME!

I see a stranger staring back at me

I feel the eyes of judgement tear me apart one chrge at a time.

I hear tormenting laughs of my estranged evil self.

The daily remind of feeling mediocre every time I looked at my reflection 

Having first learnt to say I hate myself before I knew what it meant… 

just by looking in the mirror.
Today I looked in the mirror…
For the first time I saw something different,

I saw her…

I felt her  beautiful soul,

Full of life with so much to offer.

I saw a fire ignite in my eyes,

I found a new passion within myself.

I reconciled with myself.

I looked in the mirror 

And….

I fell in love with who I saw.

I fell in love with the new feeling I gave myself.

I fell in love with my entire being.

When I looked in the mirror 

I saw the queen I was ment to be.