You suck the life out of me
You make me cry
You created my insecurities
You gave me my dark and deadly thoughts.
When you claim to help me it is when you dig a deeper hole for me.
When you claim you love me you just reveal the shame and hatred you feel.
Funny enough I didn’t ask for it
I didn’t choose you
I didn’t say make me
I didn’t sign up to be an emotional punching bag.
Who I am now isn’t who you were in the past
The fact that you feel unimportant to me is because you made me unimportant to you…
You aren’t trying to make things right you just covering up mistakes caused by you.
You don’t care about me it’s how you look to others that you care about
My wellbeing has never been a factor to your state of being.
And it’s ok
It is all good
Because unlike you I can forgive and look past all the the pain and move on.
Unlike you my joy doesn’t come from the world.
Unlike you I don’t need to look good in other people’s eyes I know my truth and God knows my heart.
The reason you feel and think Im better than you is because I am.
I am better than you
You’ve been trying to hide that fact by making me insecure, ugly, average and dumb.
My mistake was seeking your approval
Making you happy
Doing things for you
But it’s all good
Because I know better
I am better
This isn’t for you anymore
What you think doesn’t matter
How you feel is a reflection of you
I am my own person
My joy is a gift from God
My peace is from God
My applause come from God
Whether you are here or not doesn’t bother me anymore
I know who I am now and it sure ain’t you…