The process

Letting go isn’t a sign of growth, it is the first step to allowing the process of growth to happen in your life. By removing yourself from negativity, things that threaten your health and peace of mind, anything that is compromising your values, Degenerates and anything and everything that doesn’t add substance to your being means you’ve acknowlegded what you need to improve. As a queen you know that perfection isn’t attainable but progress is what you live for and in order to progress we need to let go and when we let go we also need to move on, but for some reason the moving on part seems to be the thing we leave out. Since we believe that after we let go we’re done, we all good, we’re sorted now we’ve got space for new bad habits and negative, compromising, degenerating things which only sets up back even further from where we started. We forget the most vital point of growing which is moving on…. It is there whether we want it or not. Growing means moving on to an even better place, moving on shows maturity and independence. I mean as kids we couldn’t wait to move on from one grade to another because it showed we were growing so what’s so different about moving on after letting go? Letting go means there is place for that purpose you need to fulfill, there is place for new life and lessons but in order to receive that you need to make that move to the place you’re ment to be in order to grow.

Let go
Move on
Grow

You suck the life out of me
You make me cry
You created my insecurities
You gave me my dark and deadly thoughts.
When you claim to help me it is when you dig a deeper hole for me.
When you claim you love me you just reveal the shame and hatred you feel.
Funny enough I didn’t ask for it
I didn’t choose you
I didn’t say make me
I didn’t sign up to be an emotional punching bag.
Who I am now isn’t who you were in the past
The fact that you feel unimportant to me is because you made me unimportant to you…
You aren’t trying to make things right you just covering up mistakes caused by you.
You don’t care about me it’s how you look to others that you care about
My wellbeing has never been a factor to your state of being.
And it’s ok
It is all good
Because unlike you I can forgive and look past all the the pain and move on.
Unlike you my joy doesn’t come from the world.
Unlike you I don’t need to look good in other people’s eyes I know my truth and God knows my heart.
The reason you feel and think Im better than you is because I am.
I am better than you
You’ve been trying to hide that fact by making me insecure, ugly, average and dumb.
My mistake was seeking your approval
Making you happy
Doing things for you
But it’s all good
Because I know better
I am better
This isn’t for you anymore
What you think doesn’t matter
How you feel is a reflection of you
I am my own person
My joy is a gift from God
My peace is from God
My applause come from God
Whether you are here or not doesn’t bother me anymore
I know who I am now and it sure ain’t you…

Her story…

Beautiful. 

smart.

Innocent.

Stars in her eyes.

So full of life.

Everyday is like an adventure to her.

She goes to bed every night counting down the hours till the sun rises again so she can begin the new journey that awaits her…

Determined 

Capable 

Nurturing

Hungry for knowledge 

Motivated by a mere everyday thing called growing up

She is mesmerised by the different flavours life has to offer, so eager to taste every last bit…

Sassy

Opinionated 

Rebel

She walks to the beat of her own rhythm 

She exudes her new found values to the world

Ready to even defy the rules of science, her only goal is to change the world….

Insecure 

Lonely 

Constrained 

Reality just hit

She opened her eyes to the big bad world

The stars in her eyes are dim, her entire world shattered each piece leaving it’s own unique mark as a reminder.

Small

Vulnerable 

Afraid 

She dies more and more inside

Used as a trophy to the “Man”

She forgets her worth

She it taught to live by an untrue fact that a man is the only thing she’ll need….

Wise

Unapologetic 

Bold

Masterpiece 

she remembers how it began

She gracefully carries herself with elegance 

Walking away from all the pain, negativity and everything that jeopardise her peace

She needs no approval, ready to conquer and take back all she lost.

She is whole.

She is  strong.

She is perfectly imperfect.

Look out for number 1 

It’s always a tough decison for a queen to pick between love and success. But here’s the thing if you find a partner that cares about you and your dreams you wouldn’t have to pick between the two. This isn’t about having your cake and eating it this is about being with someone who will never let you compromise your throne by letting you choose between your Kingdom and them. A queen must find her king and her king should be conquering his own Kingdom and only be looking to find a queen who is conquering her own kingdom that way you can both build each other into better people. A queen deserves a king that knows her worth and appreciates how she’ll never comprise herself for him, instead she’ll ensure that he works just as hard as she does if not more.

Be the queen you know you should be with or without a king
#queeningonmyownterms

It’s the life we live…

You’ve had your heart broken.

You’ve had your life torn apart.

You lost everything.

You lost everyone.

Your entire being was turned upside down 

Through it all you held your head up high and kept going.

You tried to pick up the pieces

You tried to put it back together 

You looked for everything 

You searched for everyone 

You entire being is still stuck in turmoil

Through it all you realised, “fuck it”

Your heart got broken, yes… And it isn’t the the first nor the last there’s nothing special or different about the ex, the didn’t realise that they had a gold mine on their hands so forget about it.

Your life is torn apart, so what? Has there ever been a life that’s all in one piece, I don’t think so, so gather all the pieces and ensure they are all in one place I mean you don’t need your shit all over the place right…

You lost everything… Maybe you weren’t suppose to have it. Look at it this way stop focusing on what you have and start looking at what you can do its not like you going to be buried with your things once you dead.

You lost everyone… No no no! Everyone lost you, they couldn’t handle awesomeness so find people who can, you’re not gonna be everyone’s cup of tea.

Your entire being is turned upside down and… Who know which way is the right way up even your being could be positioned the right way the only thing you should worry about is your entire being being at peace through all the turmoil. 

Screw everything, keep your head up, own your throne and grow your Kingdom that’s all that matters 

Throw it away 

Starting all over is never easy but it is necessary and I don’t mean picking up the broken pieces and putting them back together. A fresh start means taking the dustpan sweeping up all the pieces even the ones that look like you can fix and throwing it all away in the dustbin. Reason why specifically say “throw it all away in the dust” is because we tend to hold on to things unnecessarily, yes we want a fresh start but the thought of starting everything all over or even letting go of old grudges and emotions creates this fear of, “what will I fill this space with now?” We somehow create this panic within ourselves where it seem like if we get rid of these pieces we instantly lose our identities, we simply don’t know who we are without these pieces. Or better yet we are able sweep up the pieces but we throw it under the rug…. That still does nothing you because you might say you got rid of it but you know where that extra junk in your trunk comes from sad part is it ways you down. That dirt under the rug is like being in a toxic relationship you know you have to get out because you deserve better of but you don’t want to and it ends up damaging you way beyond repair or worse it kills you all because of that fear of stepping out on your own and starting a fresh. But here’s the worst of the bunch the ones who sweep up everything and I mean everything make their way to the dustbin but don’t get rid of the dirt or they do get rid of it but the won’t leave…. I don’t know how but there is a sense of guilt that falls upon us at this point where it seem like we seem to be betraying ourselves by throwing away the very same pieces that were once part of us, how do you just throw such away just like that? This become that ex that leaves you than as soon as you find that piece of happiness they have to some how ruin because they aren’t happy and if they aren’t happy you can’t be happy either. This is where you end up feeling stagnant it looks like everyone around is happy and moving on with their lives and you are just standing by the dustbin with a dustpan in your hand deciding whether to throw it all away or keep it all…

We never realise that starting all over is a way of making progress or promoting ourselves and as we move up there are things that fall or break off because they aren’t ment to move up with us, look at it like a fruit tree the more it grows the more pruning it has to get in order to bear more fruit, same with us when you start all over you have to get rid of certain things to make way for new ones. So when starting a fresh make sure you get rid of all the excess baggage, a new life doesn’t need things from the past hindering it from success

This isn’t a gender based issue. 

We all have fallen victim of it. 

We’ve all vowed that it would never happen to us but…. It did. 

It really is easy to judge and speak about how it’s done real damage to people until we ourselves go through it. 

Sad part is it leaves us with a whole lot of questions and we end up questioning our own judgement.

So why does it happen, how does it happen, is there even a way to see or sense that it’s happening?

Why do we let relationships, no the person we are in a relationship with change, control and consume us?

I mean we keep “preaching” this thing to everyone one around us especially to young women, “Don’t let your partner know that they are the BE ALL and END ALL in your life or else you’re screwed!” and yet we as the “preacher” do exactly what we said shouldn’t be done and in most cases truth be told as much as I hate saying it, it is women who do this. I don’t know if it’s a curse or we are just stubborn sometimes or we think we are immune to our own advise, I don’t know, what I know is that most of the time women are the ones who change for their partners, women give their partners all the control and women are the one that give their entire being to their partners so they can consume it. And no female can deny this fact, it is a sad and horrible one but it is the truth. There have been many strong, driven, successful women we know that have gone into a relationship and changed total they become weak and insecure women who seek approval from their partners, they only do things that their partners “allow” them to do. All of a sudden everything they work so hard for doesn’t matter anymore because what, because why, because who? 
Are we that insecure that we feel like we need to downgrade ourselves in every way possible just to keep that one person who doesn’t add shit to our lives? Is our thinking so backward that we have to forget who we are and ensure that our partners are the ones who are moving forward and succeeding? 

But like I said in the beginning this isn’t a gender based issue even though it happens mostly with women we can say that man also have the same issue. You find a man who is strong, secure of himself and hard working who will enter into a relationship and they become desperate, over compensating slaves to their partners, they will literally jump head over hills, leaving everything just for their partner who who only calls when they need something… 
Til when? 

Til when are we going to let these people have this effect on us?

Woman start realising your worth. Know that if you have to sacrifice something that is a vital  part of you then they weren’t worthy of ruling your Kingdom with you. Never and I mean never downgrade yourself for someone who doesn’t add value to your life matter of face dint downgrade yourself for anyone at all your life is all about none stop progress!

Man if you ever have to go unreasonably above and beyond for someone who can’t even be there at you lowest then it’s time to cut your losses. Realise that being a man is more than just a title, it is hard work and the sooner you realise that the sooner you’ll find you the support structure for your foundation. Never become anyone’s slave and work towards making progress everyday of your life.

Let’s stop this involuntary change.

I opened up to you,
showed you my scars.
Stripped all my layers.
Revealed my true form.
I let you in.
I let you explore my inner being,
Allowed you to taste my true essence.

Now you stand and mock me.
Use my scars to create new wounds,
Spit the same essence you tasted back in my face.
You walked out,
Left me bare and vulnerable.
Exposed for all to see.
So here I stand naked,
Baring all my truths,
Unashamed of who says what,
Because you set me free.
By leaving me exposed you set me free.
You set me free.
Ready to claim my Kingdom.
Ready to wear the crown you failed to carry,
I’m walking naked in truth, scares and all ready to conquer.
I am Queening on my own terms.