I am…

I am worth more than a bottle of moët…

Fact that I don’t even know what it tastes like, should tell you…
My body can’t be be bought by alcohol so…
Don’t bother asking, “how many drinks will it take to get home with me”
 You can try taking me to an expensive restaurant,
But I’m just gonna end up ordering fries coz your bougie broke ass lifestyle doesn’t live up to the fine elegant taste I  have called plain and simple…
I am worth more than a bottle of ciroc…
Boo I don’t need spirits in the form of a beverage coz I got the Holy Spirit and that’s more than enough.
Buying me clothes won’t do shit you’ll probably get the wrong size either way
And don’t think waving cash in my face will get me all excited coz not even manhood could do a proper job…
 Like I said,
I’m worth more than a bottle of henessy…
Don’t assume every girl in a weave, with makeup wearing a tight short dressing is:
Dumb enough to go home with you
Materialistic enough to get excited over  things you buy them
Or naive to believe the bullshit you whisper in her ear…
Everyone has a price…
But
Not everyone is bought with alcohol…
If you gonna try challenge us then,
Try seeing how further you can make  me think and not how further I can bend over.
Instead seeing how quickly you can get me to bed, see how quick I can learn about your field of work.
Rather then worrying about how my moaning  motivates you, how about you motivate me get that education….
Don’t complain about how my school work is taking up our time for Netflix and chill… my guy increase our time together by creating Study and Chill….
My education, values,  morals or self worth aren’t worth  “a bottle”…
So don’t assume I can be bought
Because assumptions make an ass out of you and me…
I am worth more than just a bottle… 

My Dealer

I fell for it…

I allowed my emotions to get the better of me.
Once again I let my heart do all the thinking.
Time and time I keep telling myself that it won’t happen…
Not again,
not anymore.
But there it is…
My heart jumping first in the firing line.
My entire being so eager to get that fix called heartbreak…
It’s like I encourage this emotional mutilation.
Like I want you to break me all over again….
This back and forth,
Let’s start of as friends,
One minute you here next you gone situation kills me.
I no longer get bruised easily I just break into a billion pieces.
The mere thought of you sends me into an emotional ICU.
Sad part is I look forward to that high called heartbreak…
It’s the only way I still get something,
Feel something from you…
You are the only one who can give me that fix and you still fail at it.
You couldn’t succeed in keeping me
And you can’t succeed in giving me heartbreaks…
I keep asking myself what it is i need to do.
I’m addicted to you breaking up with me
You hurting me
You constantly disappointing me…
I looked forward to all of that…
It gave me an all time high,
It kept me connected to you….
And now?
Now I’m all alone
You found new addict to break now that I’m broken beyond repair…

Its still there….

That thing…

That thing man…
You know this thing.
That thing that grown folks say it no longer exists.
That if you find it, hold on to it with both hands coz there won’t be any other.
That thing that we young folk say is over rated  and yet we use and abuse it to get what we want, who we want,  when we want it.
Funny enough this thing…
This thing has a mind of it’s own.
You can’t control it
You can’t see it
You can’t say no to it.
But then again  that thing doesn’t take no for an answer
The more you resist is the more you give this thing power.
It’s has a way of making the strong and mighty weak.
The worst and I mean the worst of the worst are even affected by this thing.
This thing….
This thing called love…
L.O.V.E
Four simple letters
One power word
Only needs two souls to create it.
Two blind souls who at first kiss knew that it was there.
Who tried to sabotage it.
Run away  from it.
Fight it.
Bribe it.
But it just grew stronger.
Like I said this thing has a mind of it’s own….
It can’t be controlled.
This thing literally  bind these souls to each other.
Forever connected to find their way back to each other…
All because they got caught by this thing.
This thing called love…

2 a. m thoughts of a broken heart

It’s night like these that I hate most. 

Nights where sleep seems to have run off, 

my brain starts wonder 

and my heart just feels forbidden feelings… 

Nights where I miss you dearly.

Or maybe not you but the things you did.

But then again it could be you that I miss…

But I say it again, I hate nights like these!

Where I yearn for your touch,

Your warmth.

How your heartbeat became a soothing lullaby,

Except now the only sound fall asleep to is my heart shatter.

I remember nights like these where:

Your kisses gave me a rush

The way you held me gave me this high that I couldn’t explain 

we became entwined.

And now nights like this remind me how bad my addiction to you was.

Moments of regret playing over and over like a horrible nightmare.

Flash backs of times where i could have left but didn’t.

I could smell the judgement in the room with just me….

I despise night like these….

They remind me of time where we use to stay up and have the most amazing conversation.

We watched movies and fell asleep during the movie.

We had moments of passion.

Now the only moment I have is my tears meeting my pillow….

It’s nights like these that

I wish I never met you or fell in love.

It’s nights like these that

I feel hatred for you.
It’s nights like these that

I wonder if you feel the pain I feel. 

It’s nights like these that

I could rip out my heart just until all the feeling is gone.
Nights like these are never easy.

Nights like this make you wish you could already see the crack of dawn.

Nights like these will make feel broken and alone.

It’s nights like these that I hate.